You're Not Gonna Believe This

Okay, you're gonna think I'm crazy. I started out to just tell it like it is. This was going to be my grand manifesto. All my suspicions were finally confirmed and this was going to be the post/article/blog that brought the world into the dark secret I uncovered, but then August 12th happened, and then I knew you were never going to believe me unless I told you the whole story. Otherwise, you were bound to think I was just another guy on the internet who was a few fruit loops short. So, here's the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. So help me God.

It all started in a dorm room. Not my dorm room, mind you, but one belonging to the cutest stack of advanced brain cells you ever met, Abuike. None of this would have happened without her. Don't hear me as trying to blame her for anything, but I never would have even had a clue about getting started if it wasn't for her extreme talent as a developer, a thinker, and someone who wouldn't take no as an answer. She's bright as the sun and doesn't take it from anybody. I came upon this intriguing young lady when I passed her first test.

"Hey, is this yours?" I held up the tear-away slip I'd removed from the notice on the bulletin board. My question was directed to the ebony-skinned figure whose eyes I could just see peeking over the top of her laptop as she lay back on her bed. She blinked but didn't respond, just kept staring at me with those wide, focused eyes.

I waved the paper again, this time making sure it was in her line of sight. "Did you put up the flyer?"

As soon as she noticed it, the girl closed her laptop and reached up under a thick mop of hair to remove what I now saw was an earbud. "Did you solve the equation?"

"That's why I'm here. I need all the extra credit I can get. If you're still looking for a research partner, I'd love to give it a shot."

She nodded and slowly slid out of bed. The girl was taller than I expected, almost as tall as me, and I come in at just under six feet. I took a step into the room, and she held up her hand to hold me back. "Tell me the answer…and how you got it? And if you say AI told me, please turn around and walk right out the door."

"It's based on Euler's number. You're in 1608 in the east wing, on the second floor. I have to admit, I wasn't sure I was right, but it seemed the most logical inference from the equation you posted. I'm guessing you were intentionally vague to weed out the non-majors and pretenders, but the math checked out. Am I right? You did post the flyer?"

Her eyes narrowed as she waited for two students talking in the hallway to pass by. When their chatter trailed off down the hall, she asked, "What's your name?"

"Sam, Sam Ayam."

She smirked at his response. "Like Dr. Suess?"

"Not Sam I Am, Sam Ah-yam."

"That's the same thing."

"I promise you it's not."

After giving him one more incredulous look, she stepped back and gestured towards the chair across from her bed. "Okay, Sam Ah-yam, take a seat. The equation gets you in the door, but I have more than a few questions to determine if you're able to keep up with what I'm looking for."

"And you are?" Sam took a seat. It was the typical hard industrial office chair that the university issued to each student at check-in. Maybe helpful for staying awake, but without a modicum of comfort.

"Let's keep it professional for now. What can you tell me about Euler's number?"

Sam pointed back to the door. "It said AA on the sign; are those your initials?"

"Euler's number?"

I guess this is another test.

"A mathematical constant. It is an irrational number. Discovered by Bernoulli. It is the foundation of the natural logarithm."

She cut him off by pointing at him sharply in a way that surprised him. "That's the one. My work is based on that. I'm studying continuous decay in my subject that occurs on a purely logarithmic scale."

"What's the subject?"

She stood up, walked to the door, and swung it shut with a gentle push. Sam thought she was reaching for the light, but her hand slid past it until she pressed a button on a small device that hung from a bulletin board mounted on the wall. A faint hum started up, and it kept building, not in volume, but in frequency, growing higher and higher until he couldn't hear it, but felt like it was still there. The girl was watching it the whole time, and after an uncomfortably long silence, she turned to him and said. "I'm Abuike, Abuike Aziz, and chances are you are the subject, just like almost everyone on this campus."