Welcome to Dutopia

"And you are?"

"I'm Gerald. Gerald the Herald. I'll be acting as the spokesperson for the Kingdom. All official statements come from me."

"You're not joking?"

"Joking about what?"

Sensing it was a waste of time, Penny moved on to the next question. "Nevermind. I was assured I would have full access to the royal family. I don't see how this works unless that's the case."

The look on Gerald's face demonstrated to Penny that as dim as she'd thought the herald to be, she'd clearly underestimated him. Beneath the ridiculous bulb of a hat that looked like an inflated balloon on his head, Gerald's eyes were crossed with confusion. Finally, he said, "Assured by whom?"

Penny dug into her rucksack and produced the letter she'd received. On the outside was the royal seal of Dutopia, which appeared to be some kind of large, flightless bird with a giant beak and an expression that wasn't much sharper than Gerald's. She carefully unfolded the letter and read the following:

On behalf of the grand, most esteemed Kingdom of Dutopia, we are delighted to inform you of his majesty's willingness to grant your request. Please report to the royal palace by the 14th of next month, at which time you will be received in a manner befitting your station. The royal family is pleased to offer their full cooperation in exchange for your favorable report.

Please note, this is a onetime offer and we do not extend it lightly. It is only because of your stellar reputation and past performance with the Academy of Information that we have deemed your request worth our consideration. If we do not hear from you by the 14th, the opportunity is withdrawn and you will not be welcome within the borders of Dutopia again.

In representation of the high exalted King Dod, I submit my humble signature.

Legerdemain

Chief of Staff and High Wizard of Dutopia*

Penny held up the letter for Gerald to see, but kept it just out of his reach. Waiting for him to finish reading was like watching the moon and waiting for it to get full on the farm she grew up on. Finally, Gerald cleared his throat and Penny lowered the letter.

He stood there scratching his chin, the thick brown beard providing a jungle for his fingers to get lost in.

"Well, this isn't quite what I was told. I'll have to check back with Chief Legerdemain. For now, I'm supposed to give you some of our history and answer questions you have related to that. Later, you'll be able to meet the court and perhaps even the King. We've arranged a room here in the palace that will be available to you throughout your stay. If it's all right with you, I will have your belongings taken there while we talk and I'll escort you there once we're done."

"That's fine, but this is all I have." Penny lifted up the rucksack, which was quite full, but barely the size of a large pillow.

"Oh. That's all? I assumed you would have known to bring formal attire. You won't be allowed to have dinner with the royal family unless you have the appropriate dress."

"Well, this isn't exactly what it appears to be. The Academy of Information supplies all of its field personnel with a Storsack." Penny opened the top of the bag wide and, after looking down inside it, she pulled out a full length dress. It was long and forest green with white lace.

"I see. That is passable for the first night. How many dresses did you bring?"

"This is the only one." Penny glanced down at her worn tunic, leggings, and boots. They served her well. Comfortable for travel and quite durable, but they showed their age. She had another set of travel clothes, but those were worse than these. The dress was a last-minute addition from her roommate, who suggested it would be unwise to show up in Dutopia without it.

"I see. Well, I'll make a note to speak to Chief Legerdemain about that as well. Now, let's get down to history."